Genesis, Chapter 2

This is the chapter in which Biblical doctrine seems to transform into inconsistent fairy tale.

Verses 1-3 of the chapter deal with God’s declaration that the seventh day is one for rest. This fits the storyline well and makes sense, if you are to believe that the Almighty requires a moment of relaxation and respite.

But I'll let that go.

The chapter then proceeds to repeat portions of the creation story from chapter 1, in an order that is inconsistent with the first chapter. It begins with plants (verse 4-6), then moves onto man (verse 7), then to the Garden in which he is assigned to live (verses 8-15), then to animals (verses 18-20, and finally to woman (verses 21-25).

What the hell happened? Animals after man? And woman after animals?

Some quick research indicates that some Biblical scholars reject the notion of an inconsistency, claiming it is simply a function of language. For example, The King James version of the Bible, which I am reading, states:

Now the LORD God formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field . . .

… thus placing animals’ creation clearly after Adam.

However, the New International Version of the Bible, which was revised as late as 1983, states:

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field . . .

… indicating with the past perfect tense that this line is simply a reminder that animals had been created at some point in the past, well before Adam’s creation.

This raises a number of questions, the most important of them being which Bible am I to believe? Nearly everything we know about God and his doctrine is found within the pages of the Bible, yet we have several versions of this text that clearly contradict one another. Was the New International Version revised to intentionally remove this inconsistency, or was it a legitimate error of translation?

The existence of multiple and differing versions of the primary source document leads me to believe that we can’t really trust any of them.

But even if the New International Version is correct, it does not explain the creation of woman after the animals. According to this chapter, animals were only created for Adam’s companionship, well before the creation of Eve:

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

God then proceeded to create “every beast of the field and every fowl of the air” for Adam, thus separating the creation of birds from fish, in another complete contradiction to chapter 1 that cannot be explained away with the changing of verb tenses.

In chapter 1, birds and fish are created on one day and animals on another. In chapter 2, this is clearly not the case.

Even more bizarre than this clear contradiction, did God really think that Adam would find companionship in “every beast in the field”? Was this even an honest attempt at solving a problem for which the Almighty acknowledged responsibility? Only after the snakes and roosters and chipmunks failed to provide Adam with adequate friendship did God decide to give women a chance, and therefore created woman after these furry, feathery creatures, once again in complete contradiction to chapter 1.

The creation of the tree of knowledge is also an odd event in chapter 2. God says:

Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

Really? Doesn’t this sound a little too much like a fairy tale to you? Am I expected to believe that God decided to plant a tree in his garden, and not simply a tree containing toxic berries, but a magical tree of the knowledge of good and evil?

For what purpose would he choose to do this? Was he screwing with Adam’s mind? Tempting him like the nectar of a Venus flytrap? Why even create such a tree?

Can you imagine God making this decision?

“I shall create a perfect garden for those who I created in my own image, perfect in every way. Except for a tree. Yes… a tree. A tree of knowledge, with fruit capable of damning human beings forever. But they’ll be fine. I’ll just warn them ahead of time.”

It’s also important to note that Eve was actually created after the tree, meaning that she never received God’s admonition about the magical fruit. Women often get blamed for the damnation of mankind, but it could be argued that Adam did a lousy job convincing her of the severity of the situation. Adam, after all, got word firsthand from the Big Guy, while Eve came along much later, after all the snakes and chipmunks and dodo birds, only to hear the news secondhand. Should we be surprised that a cunning serpent eventually tricks her into eating the magical fruit?

I’ll save that for chapter 3.