Genesis, Chapter 3, Verses 11-12

Who would've thought that Adam turns out to be a punk?

For years, I’ve listened to people blame women for the damnation of mankind with Eve’s submission to the temptation of the apple, but it appears from my reading that it was in fact Adam who turned out to be the weak, pathetic, sniveling weasel of a man.

First, though it’s clear that Eve initially eats the fruit, the Scripture is clear in that Adam also eats it via his own free will. Verse 6 reads:

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

Please note:

No reported coercion of any kind.

So let’s please stop blaming the ladies for the downfall of mankind. Remember what we learned from chapter 2: Eve only heard about the Lord’s admonitions regarding the tree secondhand. Rather than taking the time to tell her himself, God relied on Adam to pass on the word. Who could blame her for believing a magically talking reptile? It was Adam who had received the order directly from the Big Guy, so he, more than Eve, should not have faltered when faced with temptation.

One also has to wonder what God might have done if only Eve had eaten the forbidden fruit.

Dispel Eve from the garden forever, dooming Adam and all mankind to the life of celibacy?

Remove her hands and feet as he later did to the serpent, dooming all of womankind to lives of veritable stumps?

I almost wish it had happened, just to see what God might have done.

But it's when God questions Adam about the eating of the fruit that Adam completely loses my respect. Adam explains:

The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

Did you see that? That little punk tried to blame his decision to eat the forbidden fruit on both God and Eve at the same time, and in just 19 words.

He opens by reminding God that the only reason that woman is on Earth is because “thou gavest (her) to be with me.” In other words, had God simply left well enough alone, this would never have happened.

Then instead of stepping up and accepting the consequences of his decision like a man, Adam proceeds to blames Eve, informing God (who still seems to know be all-knowing except in regards to what has just transpired) that “she gave me of the tree.”

In modern day third grader speech, Adam might have sounded something like this:

It’s all your fault, poopy-face God. You’re the one who put Miss stupid-face in the Garden in the first place, and besides, she ate the fruit first and then made me eat it. It’s all your fault!”

Even more disconcerting: this sniveling little weasel was supposedly made in God’s image.

Yikes.